I can’t do this anymore. ‘I really need medicine, I’m gonna ask for that medicine next’ I say to Austin in the middle of a contraction. It already took so long, and I am worried that if these contractions keep getting worse I won’t be able to handle the pain. Breathe, breathe. I try to focus, but it’s difficult. The contraction wears off, and Austin reassures me that I wrote in my birthplan that I didn’t want pain meds and that I will probably be disappointed afterwards if I did give in. He is right.
Every day for the last week I had been waking up disappointed. Why wasn’t I having contractions yet? I was getting frustrated, so whenever I woke up around 2.30 on the 19th of april I didn’t want to get my hopes up. I felt like I was having contractions, but I assumed they were just Braxton-Hix contractions which would go away.
It started around 2.30 a.m. I felt I was having contractions, but I didn’t really want to get my hopes up because it was one contraction every 10 minutes, and they didn’t seem to get worse. So I took a bath, to help speed things up, but it didn’t work. Whenever I told Austin I thought I was having contractions he just gave me a thumbs up and fell asleep again. So I went to sleep again too.
Around 6 I wake up again. ‘I assume you’re not having contractions anymore?’ Austin asks, but I am not sure. Nope, they’re still there. I think we’ll be having the baby today. Austin takes the day off and Ava goes to Springfield with family. I take a walk, another bath, lay down, but nothing really seems to speed up the contractions. It frustrates me. I look in the mirror and I see that my belly really has dropped in comparison to the day before.
great quality pictures, I know. Left is April 18th, right is April 19th.
Around 3 I finally have the feeling that the contractions are every 5 minutes and around 4 Austin calls the hospital because I also lost blood. We are welcome, and whenever Austin’s dad is there to babysit Ava we go to the hospital.
‘How long since your last contraction?’ I am not really sure… ’10 minutes maybe?’. Austin looks at me and goes: ‘Oh’. I know what he’s thinking, maybe we will be out of the hospital in an hour because no, labor didn’t really start. When we get to the hospital Austin tells me I look ratchet (thanks honey, I am here to give birth, not for a photoshoot for some fashion magazine) and that I was acting a little different when we got to the hospital for the birth of Ava. Uh yeah, then my water already broke and I was dilated at like 4 cm.
We walk in and a nurse leads us to a room. She explains to me that they’re going to track my contractions for a while and then they will decide if I will get admitted or not. I breathe away another contraction and put on a hospital gown. Once I am attached to the machine that tracks my contractions and baby’s heartrate I ask the nurse if I am still allowed to eat. She brings me some crackers, a popsicle, water and applejuice.
Don’t I look lovely in a hospital gown? Ava and my father in law come over to check how it’s going. Apparently that is a thing in America, as long as you’re not pushing the baby out yet, people still come to see you. I already made clear that when I get admitted and go to a different room, I don’t want any visitors. They stay for a little while and then they leave again.
The monitor for my contractions and baby’s heartbeat.
Around 7 p.m. the nurse comes to check to see how much I am dilated. 2.5 cm. Dang… I really wished I was a little further already. The nurse calls the doctor (who is in a different hospital at that moment) and she decides that I get admitted. Yeey, it is really going to happen!
The contractions are getting worse and when the nurse wants to escort us to a different room, we have to wait a littlebit because I am getting another contraction. The next room we are in is a lot bigger. There is a big bath which I would love to plunge in right away. Okay, or try to sit in slowly. I don’t stay in the tub super long because I have a feeling like it’s not helping a lot. I try the birthing ball too but that just gives me more pressure. I almost pop Austin’s back out of place when I lean on him during a contraction. The nurse has been monitoring my contractions and the next time she checks I am at 4 cm’s. I don’t know if I can do this much longer.
I claw my nails in Austin’s hand. He was just about to check on Ava and his dad but I yelled at him to come back. I really need him. Between the contractions I tend to almost fall asleep, but the contractions are getting so bad that I am considering medication. After the contraction Austin tells me that I will just be disappointed after if I do that and he is right. ‘AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUU’ I yell because this contraction is unbearable. I can’t breathe this one away. The nurse comes in with another nurse because they’re quite sure that I am getting close to pushing this baby out. I feel a lot of pressure and I ask the nurse if she really can’t break my water. She checks me and I am 7 cm’s dilated. ‘Sorry hun, I tried but your water is like bulging’ she explains to me. She called the midwife to come because the doctor is still with another patient.
‘I am peeing, HELP, I am peeing!’ ‘No, that’s just your water breaking’ I try to breathe with the contractions but they are too heavy. This isn’t going to end. ‘Is it too late for an epidural?’ I ask the nurse. ‘Yes, it is’ she tells me. I want to cry. ‘You’re doing great!’ another nurse tells me in the middle of a contraction. ‘Shut up!’ I yell at her because I need to focus on my pain. When the contraction wears off I apologize. She tells me she’s heard worse. Finally the midwife comes in and checks how far I am dilated. 9 cm’s. But I feel like I have to push. After what seems like an eternity I finally get to push. ‘Do what your body tells you to do.’ the midwife tells me. I push and push and push. ‘Look down!’ Oh my gosh, I can see the baby’s head! Another push and they lay her on me. She is so precious.
Cara Mae is born and I am so in love with her.